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By: Jen
Rating: G ////// Category: all couples pov, songfic (M/L, M/M, A/I, K/T)
Spoilers: The entire second season. Mainly "The End of The World," "To Serve and Protect," and "We Are Family."
Disclaimer: The characters and events talked about do not belong to me. They belong to Jason Katims and the rest of the wonderful Roswell writing squad. And the song used, "I'm Not In Love," belongs to BBMack and is from their CD Sooner or Later.
It's late. And even though it's felt like an eternity, it's only been a couple of months since Max saw me and Kyle…cause of future Max, and my dumb conscience to save the world over our happiness. And even though I have school tomorrow, and I should get some sleep, I can't. And it's not the Laurie situation, or Sean that's keeping me up. It's him…again. Max. I told Maria I was obsessed a week ago. And I thought I had gotten over it…
I reach for my stereo, turn on KROZ. I can hear the last few lines of 'Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely' drifting into the air. Then the song changes…
Don't think that you've got me girl. Don't think you can tame me and change me. Don't think that it's all because of you.
Tess and me? Buddha, what's going on here? This, this is just not happening? Is it? Me and a…a Martian? Uh uh, no way, not in a million years. But there I was, telling her not to leave. She's my favorite Martian? Can you get any lamer Valenti? I don't wanna be in love. No, this is too much. Liz, Vicky…Tess? No, this just doesn't add up. But I think in some ways, she has changed me. I don't want her to leave. I just don't know! And this damn song is not helping. People actually like this group?
Just because I don't run around, Just because we're forever together, Don't you think of a four letter word to use.
We were forever together. Before destiny and before Tess. We've even used that four-letter word. And now…Liz breathe. You're getting obsessed again. Don't start that. He's just a friend. Maybe a little more, but nothing romantic. God, since when has life gotten this complicated?
So what if I just don't want anybody else but you. So what if you're all that I ever really wanna do. I know what you're thinking but that doesn't make it true.
Liz, I love you. Like the lyrics on Izzy's CD say: I really don't want anybody else but you. And I respect whatever reasons you've had for lying to me over the past few months. But don't you realize you are all I want. And don't keep thinking that I still believe you slept with Kyle. You really think we'd remain friends if that was the truth? I hate these nights, not being able to sleep. You're all I can ever think about then. Even with Valenti loosing his position and this girl running around Roswell that might hold a key to our past, I just don't care if I can't talk with you. You know why I stayed at the Crashdown that night. Yup, it's me, Max Evans, falling back into his old habits about you. I wish I could tell you I'm not in love and make everything easier on you, make you think that whatever you wanted to achieve that night worked. But I'm sorry, I can't.
-Believe me baby, I'm not in love. No not at all. What makes you think You made me fall? I slipped, but no I'm not in love.
But if I just can't sleep at night. I see your face in the starry skies. So high above But girl, I'm not in love.
Change it from guy to girl, and you certainly have me. God, Max Evans has certainly cast a spell over me. I wonder if BBMack is trying to imply something? I wish I wasn't in love. I tried telling that to myself every day for the past couple of months. I'm not in love with Max Evans. No not at all. But then I sit down and look at the stars…and he's all I can think of. I'm not in love…no, just in love.
Don't think that you got it made. Don't think that it's so easy to keep me. Never know, it could all just fade away.
Not this time Spaceboy. Yeah, so what if we've been on and off in the past few years? I grab my radio and play with the knob so all the static fades away. I know I've got it made this time. And despite all this alien mumbo jumbo, Michael's still been there for me. Right? I mean, we are in love, and I can keep him? Right? Yeah, I would say so. We will not end up as 'Romeo and Juliet.' I'll save that for some other star crossed lovers in this town. But not me and Michael, we'll never fade away.
"Shut up Sean!" I shout as my cousin yells at me that some people are trying to sleep. You wanted to live here? Deal. God, why do people write songs like this? They just get you all depressed and worried if you're really going through something like this.
So what if I just don't want anybody else but you. So what if you're all that I ever really wanna do. I know what you're thinking but that doesn't make it true.
I can't imagine my life without Max. He told me I should go travel - without him. Doesn't he understand that it's starting to get impossible to go anywhere without him? At least we're friends. That's good, right? But I want more. I want it to be true.
-Believe me baby, I'm not in love. No not at all. What makes you think You made me fall? I slipped, but no I'm not in love.
But if I just can't sleep at night. I see your face in the starry skies. So high above But girl, I'm not in love.
I used to see Isabel everywhere I went. But then I went to Sweden and got a different perspective. What's the point of chasing after her if she's just gonna dump me for the next available guy? I wasted too much time moping about her with Liz and Maria. Okay, pretty much too much time hanging with girls in general. They've got me sitting here listening to BBMack instead of sleeping? Isn't that something the old Alex would do? The old Alex would see Isabel in the stars, would fall all over himself to keep her. No, I only slipped. I'm not in love.
So if my heart just skips a beat. What if I use a little sleep?
Rewrite that line to too much sleep. And every time he's near, my heart skips too many beats. I've gotten better though. It's only sleepless nights I think like this. Otherwise, it's friends. And that's the way it is going to stay. And I have to make sure, to prevent the end of the world. Why don't you try writing a song about that? About a girl pretending to be not in love to save the world. Then maybe Sean would understand to stay away. Cause I'm not in love.
-Believe me I'm not in love. No not at all. What makes you think You made me fall? I slipped, but no I'm not in love.
I've slipped too many times in the past year and a half. Too many times…and it could have cost the lives of people I care about. That's why I pretend I'm not in love. This way I can focus. I've told Maria that I love her too much to see her get hurt because of me. Then why won't she listen? With Laurie and Grant and the damn new FBI agent running around Roswell, it's safer for her to stay away? Why won't she listen? Okay, so she was the first, and the only person to actually make me realize that maybe Maxwell could be right about some things…like love. But why won't she listen to me when I try telling her I'm not in love? And why am I listening to this song?
But if I just can't sleep at night. I see your face in the starry skies. The way you feel, It makes it right. I'm not in love.
You know, maybe Alex was right. Maybe there is a twinkle of something between Sean and me. He's not that bad, I should give him a chance. But then I see my dark haired, beautiful eyed friend and realize: I'm not in love. Not with Sean or any other person. Just Max…and I think that's the way it will be.
I'm not in love. No not at all. What makes you think You made me fall? I slipped, but no I'm not in love.
Nasedo told me not to get attached to humans. That they were worthless. And I've listened. But he also described this wonderful life I would have with Max once we found them. And we all know how that turned out. Surprisingly, I'm over it. I'm not in love with Max. And the funny thing is, it turned out he wasn't the one who made me fall. And as I sit in Kyle's room, with strains of this song coming from the hallway, I realize I've been trying to fool myself that I'm not in love. What other reason would I really have for helping him out at the Sheriff's office yesterday? Okay, aside from the fact that we really did need those crystals.
But if I just can't sleep at night. I see your face in the starry skies. The way you feel, It makes it right. I'm not in love.
I'm not in love. Doesn't sound as simple as they make it seem. You can't lie to yourself like that. It won't work. And you know the person in this song is really very confused. Pretty much as confused as the rest of us.
I'm not in love. No not at all. What makes you think You made me fall? I slipped, but no I'm in love.
I can't relate to this song. Sorry, this won't be a spill out your guts to no one there session Isabel. Max on the other hand, he doesn't have to be present for me to know what he'll think of when listening to the song. As for me, it's just another song. And I'm still worried about that girl, Laurie. I hope she's okay. I lay down and try to drift off to sleep. Max and I have been going through too many of these sleepless nights lately. Maybe I'll dream walk. Hmmm, Alex is back. And as much as I know I'm not in love with him, it makes me very happy to have him here in Roswell again. I'm not in love, but with your enemies around, you do want to keep people you care about close to you, to protect him. Wait, I want to protect Alex?
But if I just can't sleep at night. I see your face in the starry skies. The way you feel, It makes it right. I'm not in love.
As the song ends, I flip off my radio. Funny, that song seems to have lasted much longer than a few minutes. I think it helped though. It got my mind straightened out. I might say I'm not in love and be friends with Max, but in reality, I really am. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I am in love, was the lingering thought on each of the eight's minds as they finally got some well-deserved rest.